May 2007 | Posted in • Family | (0) Comments |
"Parenting is no easy-bake cake," I was told as a child when I said I wanted five children. But at ten years old, I felt that I knew much more than I had been given credit for knowing. I already knew exactly how life would go. I knew that I would have three girls and two boys. My kids would be good kids. I would never have to yell at my kids, spank them, or ground them. I wouldn't need to tell my children "no" all the time. I would give them the freedom to make their own decisions because they would be smart enough to make good decisions. And if my children did have questions about life, I would explain out all the answers for them, and do it patiently. I would never say, "because I said so." I hated to hear that, and knew my kids would, too.
Fast forward a couple of decades. I am now thirty and have three boys, no girls. I do have good kids, but I don't think they got the memo about "being good all the time." I have yelled, spanked, and grounded them. I can honestly say that I have probably said "because I said so" more times in the last six years than my parents said in ten years. And, I firmly believe in the theory that "I don't owe you an explanation; do what I said because I am your mother." I cannot say that life is going quite the way I planned it long ago. I am also finding out that my parents knew a lot more about being a parent than I gave them credit for knowing.
I have learned a lot about my parents since I became a parent myself. I have learned that there are some things in life that you don't have to explain, that "no" isn't just to keep you from being happy, and that the world doesn't revolve around me. I have learned that good kids can make bad decisions, and that the consequences are sometimes hard to pay. I have also learned that trust is a great avenue between honor and obedience.
My parents knew what every new parent, including myself, quickly finds out as they begin to train their young ones: "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child?" (Prov. 22:15). Children have an inherited sin nature that, if left unbridled, will bring destruction to the child and to the family. Parents are to "Train up a child in the way he should go, so that when he is old he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6)
I have witnessed my own children, in their first few years of training, having to face the consequences of foolish decisions. "No," I would tell my young toddler as he started to do something he shouldn't. He would laugh and do the very thing that I had just told him not to do. He may have been too young to understand why I said "no," but he was old enough to know that I meant to immediately stop whatever he was doing when I said it. Yet he continued, until I backed up my words with what Proverbs says, " ... the rod of correction will drive it (foolishness) far from him."
"We are to train our children to serve God by serving Him ourselves, and by demonstrating servanthood to our children."
The Bible tells us that children are to "Honor your father and your mother." (Ex. 20:12) This scripture is repeated several times in both the Old and New Testaments. It is not a suggestion, but a commandment in the Word of God.
We are to teach our children to honor us in word, action, and attitude. The word "honor" literally means to "hold in high esteem, pay respect to a superior," or "lift up in praise and emulation." It is our responsibility as parents to teach our young children that in order to honor us, they must learn to obey us. We are the first authority that our children will ever know. We are to train our children to serve God by serving Him ourselves, and by demonstrating servant hood to our children. We are to represent the image of God well to our children. When we carry out our responsibilities as parents, using the Word of God as our guideline, our children will trust our authority, too.
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